I looked at my own cervix.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
