what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
