You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
