Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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