Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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