just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
