We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
