I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
so let's talk penis.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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