if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
A+ Viking dick
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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