you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I love having hate sex.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
