Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just found a bag of teeth...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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