I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
