i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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