Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
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