I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
