Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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