You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize