I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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