Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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