plz talk dirty to me
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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