I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
