So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
