Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
