i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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