Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
