I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
