At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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