I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Rumble strips road head = magical
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
