when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
