it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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