I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
