Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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