she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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