I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
