there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
