I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I understand Curling. That high.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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