That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
