After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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