I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
