i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
