susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
