what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
