tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
