He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
