I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
