Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
