Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
