just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I had to cum in my sink.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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