another moral hangover. fuck.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
