with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Those nachos came to me in a dream
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
