I wish I could punch you in the face.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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