even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
