sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
