exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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