He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
