the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
